She is going to die!

The team of surgeons pulled me aside and told me in the most compassionate way she was probably not going to make it! This was a very bad dream and I needed to wake up now!  It seemed a few hours ago our life together had such a bright future with many plans to create memories together.  How in the world did we end up here?  Everything was happening way to fast.  I told everyone the tragic news and found a quiet corner and collapsed.   This was a huge turning point for me because I literally gave up and started to accept that I was going home alone.  During the next hour or so,  all the church members, family and friends said their good byes.  I went in to her hospital room where she lay pale, swollen and connected to many monitors and a feeding tube.  I dropped to my knees and prayed.  I grabbed her swollen hand and said "If it is your time to go, give Jesus a hug for me and I will see you soon" ,  "If it is not, give Jesus a hug and come back to me!"  At that moment, out of the blue she squeezed my hand!  In a instant, I was given some hope!

9 Hours of Emergency Brain Surgery

The helicopter landed and she was quickly rushed into and prepped for emergency brain surgery.  I was one of the first to arrive and take my post in the waiting room.  During the next twelve hours much to my surprise family and friends began to show up and join me in the waiting room.  In no time at all we had to spill out into the hallway because of the numbers of people showing up to offer support. In the days to come she would have more than 200 visitors.  I spent most of my time pacing the hallways and eventually found the chapel.  This was a huge turning point in my life!  I knew that as soon as I set foot inside my control of my life was over.  I spent time on the floor in the hallway outside the chapel and did my share of pacing this hallway too.  I was thinking what in the world am I going to say to the Almighty father?  I portrayed a strong Christian , but always did things on my terms.  I finally got enough nerve and courage and walked in.  The chapel was very plush and serene.  I immediately felt a sense of  calmness and found a comfortable seat knowing I would be there for a while.   Through heavy tears I attempted to ask the Almighty Father "What am I supposed to do? "  I know I deserve nothing because I have never trusted you before"  "Please help!" I don't want to lose her!  The more that I confessed it seemed a huge weight was being lifted!  I spent countless hours pacing multiple hallways and visiting the chapel many times.  Her brain surgery would take 9 hours!  The extraordinary thing that caught my attention was that our 3 month old daughter was not crying and smiling at me?

The Helicopter Ride

My friend stayed at the house with our daughter and made some phone calls to family members.  Thank God he was there!  I truly believe he was chosen to be there at that time/moment!  My mother-in-law quickly arrived after I left in the ambulance and took over care of our 3 month old daughter.   We arrived at the hospital very quickly and the paramedics rushed Shel into the scheduled ER trauma team.  At this point there has been no change of her unresponsiveness and coma like state.  Miraculously the doctor suspected that she had a brain injury and orders a MRI stat! How he knows that? I don't have a clue! This crucial diagnosis becomes very important later on!  By now many family members and friends are gathering inside the Emergency waiting room.  Meanwhile the doctor's suspicion is confirmed and a helicopter is ordered.  I leave my wife's very unstable bedside for a minute to check in with family members in the waiting room.  As I walk through the door, they inform me that there must be a really bad patient being treated because a helicopter has just landed in the parking lot.  Little do they know the helicopter is there for Shelley!

Tragedy Struck Everything Changed

April 2001 Shel and I had just completed a full day at work.  She had been working for a major brokerage firm since 1998 as a stock broker assistant.  I had recently left the corporate world and took over all the operations of the shop.  We were enjoying being newlyweds and recently became new parents.  Our daughter was just 3 months old.  Normally we didn't socialize much at night simply because we didn't have time.  However this evening I had a friend over for some odd reason.  I was in the basement hanging out with him  and Shel was upstairs tending to our daughter.  She really liked being a mother and cherished the one on one time with her.   After some time,  my wife came down and handed me our daughter and told me she wasn't feeling well.  I really didn't think anything about it at the time, because we had a lot going on and stress was at an all time high.  I had always taken care of her both emotionally and physically and this time was no different. After a short period of time,  I decided to go upstairs and check on her to make sure she was okay.  She was laying down in our bedroom with all the lights out complaining of feeling weak, bad headache and upset stomach.  Something seemed really bad and I felt that it was going to get worse.  She suddenly got very quiet and limp in my arms!  She was totally unresponsive and her eyes rolled back into her head.  I tried everything to revive her water, yelling, shaking, slapping and even screaming.  Nothing worked!  She was gone!  I yelled for my friend to call 911 and felt for a pulse and listened for a heartbeat.  The paramedics arrived and she was still unresponsive and in a coma like state.   The scene was chaotic because they had to maneuver her dead weight towards the front door plus diagnose the problem at the same time.  I could tell from their body language and questions that they were clueless too.  I remember the ride in the ambulance as if it was yesterday.  It was like time stopped!  80 mph plus at about ten o clock at night  rushing through red light after red light!  My wife in the back strapped to the gurney totally lifeless.  Ill never forget the paramedics hopeless expression on their face!     

I was given a sign

Shel and I returned from Hawaii and jumped feet first into our new life together as business owners.  If you have never been too Hawaii,  I highly recommend this paradise.  Everything is so green and plush and they really cater to tourists.  We only had the one issue with our first hotel not having a room for us, but they upgraded us to the penthouse suite.  I had my own personal tour guide since Shel lived there for 14 years.  After our honeymoon, we continued to work side by side at the retail store, and everything was going well.  I took over the day to day operations and gave Shel a much needed break!  She decided to try a different career path and I supported her wholeheartedly.   She took a job as a stock broker assistant at a major firm in St Louis.  Remember this information because it will become very significant.
One day I was alone at the retail store performing the daily close out of the cash drawer.  The front glass doors were open with a warm summer breeze.  I had just raised my head and glanced at the empty parking lot outside and continued to complete the close out procedure.  I heard a noise outside and looked up and there was a gentleman in a wheel chair trying to get up onto the walkway in front of our store.  Remember there was no one in the parking lot just seconds ago?   I stopped what I was doing and helped this man into our store and pushed him around in his wheel chair for an hour showing him everything.  He told me about his public speaking ministry about his alcohol related car accident that put him in a wheel chair.  We discussed things that were weighing down my heart and shed many tears together.   I felt I knew him all my life.  I gave him a Lance Armstrong jersey and he disappeared! Never to be seen again!   Very shortly after this,  I would become a brain injured caregiver  and push Shelley around in a wheelchair.  Looking back I truly believe this was a sign from the Almighty father preparing me for the extreme challenges ahead!

Life couldn't get any better!

Shel spent many countless hours running retail store and planning our Sept 1998 wedding.  We weren't known for doing things like everybody else and why should this be different?  Up to this point our focus was entertaining others and making life easier so we decided to be creative in our wedding plans also.  We chose a beautiful outdoor rose garden and started planning.  There had to be alternative arrangements made for weather and seating for guests.  We had been to many weddings and observed what worked and what didn't.  We decided to provide catered hors d'oeuvres for guests outside under a canopy while we took pictures plus a huge reception later in the day.  I remember this day vividly!  The weather was a little hot but the atmosphere and guests made our day!  Shel and I had been living a fairy tale relationship and now she was going to become my queen!  I had witnessed first hand the huge difference she had made in others and absolutely cherished her! Life was good! Everything went as planned and compliments were fluent!  We went out of our way to create a enjoyable experience for everyone with music, dancing, food, story boards and more.  That year we relocated the store increasing square footage,  doubled our staff and got married.   The next morning we headed to our much needed honey moon vacation destination Hawaii!

Our Lives Together

We dated seriously for 2 years before tying the knot in a beautiful rose garden.  Our daily routine was for me to drive straight to the bicycle shop after working in St Louis.  At first I was terrified of being asked to help customers with cash register, questions, test rides etc.  I would stay under the radar and make small talk mostly unrelated to cycling with customers awaiting help.  This routine worked for a while until one day Shel was in the back room crying because she couldn't keep up!  The shop was so busy and popular that many times there were no breaks.  I couldn't handle her crying so I stepped up and jumped in!  I started learning everything that I could about cycling and the industry in general.  I have always been a well organized person and grew up in a family business, so there was potential.  I bought a notebook and started observing everything trying to figure out a game plan.   I realized quickly that her inventory was a mess, signage was limited and customers were confused.  I thought to myself if we make the bike buying experience an user friendly, fun, family experience with no headaches and provide free information that our income and popularity would rise rapidly.  I presented the plan to Shel and off we went.  We spent all our time together working side by side helping customers, recreating store layout and loving every minute of it.  Shel and I really didn't have time to go on a real date because the retail store consumed our time.  We didn't care!  We were healthy and together!  The bonus being our plan worked!  Little did Shel know that a traumatic brain injury would change her life forever.